Tue
Jun
10
BREAKING NEWS: ReVengeance Results!
I just want to point out that the pregancy angle was Stephanie’s idea.
Though most of the match came from my own fanboy dreams.
I was too distracted to say this earlier, but God, do I love the UCBW. No other show does a better job of bringing absolutely retarded, drunken dreams to reality week after week. Steve Gristedes, Sally Hemmings, Pat Baer living out his “Jedi who fucks” fantasy…this show just warms my heart.ucbw:
Last night at the third annual ReVengeance, five exciting matches captivated a capacity crowd at the UCBW Arena!
HIGHLIGHTS:
- “THE GROCER” STEVE GRISTEDES announced that he has purchased the McDonald’s just around the corner from the UCBW Arena, and is in possesion of the deed to the building. CHUCK MCMAHON interrupted him, but the blood was boiling between these two.
- INVENTORS’ MATCH - DR. FUJIMORA VS. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN: This bout went to a no-contest as Ben Franklin’s valet Sally Hemmings unexpectedly solved the “Unsolvable Equation.”
- HUGE’S ASSISTED SUICIDE INVITATIONAL: The Mountain Men finally were able to murder The Scandinavian Giant Huge! Punchmug, Registered Sex Offender Gary, and Kirk Cameron all came up short, with the latter actually attempting to save Huge before being killed himself. As a result, The Mountain Men are the recipients of Huge’s Scandinavian fortune.
- UCBW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP - THE INTERNET (challenger) VS. THE COWBOY (champion): After a thrilling brawl that went backstage into the bowels of the UCBW Arena, The Cowboy managed to salvage the match and retain his Hardcore Championship despite an impressive effort by the Information Superheavyweight.
- FINAL FRONTIER GRUDGE MATCH: VULCAN VS. JEDI w/ SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE CYLON - Something happened here!
- MAIN EVENT MUSTACHE CHALLENGE - THE SUPERFRATERNITY VS. “THE BLACK PLANET” MARZ & UCBW CHAMPION UNCLE EDDIE: Uncle Eddie and Marz defeated The SuperFraternity in a tag team match for the ages with help from Belmont Stakes loser Big Brown despite interference from Saber of The Varsity Boys who was given a front row seat to the action. As a result, Little Brother was held down by Marz as Uncle Eddie shaved off his signature mustache live in the ring of the UCBW Arena!
UCBW CageMatch is taking a week off while SketchFest NYC takes over the UCBW Arena, but we’ll be back on June 19th with a thrilling improv matchup of Death by Roo Roo defending their championship against Ragnarock!
Make reservations here for that exciting improv battle and to see the fallout from ReVengeance!
